


Random Works By This Here Poet (Kind Of)

by Psychopathic_Nerd54



Category: Original Work
Genre: Boredom, Poetry, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 07:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3561689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychopathic_Nerd54/pseuds/Psychopathic_Nerd54
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just some poems I wrote... Some recent some from years ago... Not an exciting first post but it's the best I got...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Losing Ourselves

We all have lost something before  
Things locked through the big black door  
Things that may be gone for good  
Things that could be where we stood

Though looking through the blinding light  
What we find's no more then fright  
Though it's hard to find when you're in a strife  
That part of yourself is lost in life

Big or small, short or tall  
It doesn't really matter at all  
When you think about what's really there  
You'll find that life just isn't fair

Hypnotized or traumatized  
Caught up in a web of lies  
It won't be long 'til you realize  
That you will lose yourself in time


	2. The End Of Me

Tick tock, tick tock  
Life is just a giant clock  
Time goes by so fast, and yet so slow  
And you just can't find your place to go

I know I should be grateful still  
And think of my life as filled with thrill  
But thirteen years and growing mad  
I can't stand this life so sad

The end of me should be my day  
To end the pain and be able to say-  
"I've tried my best to stay happy  
But would you be if you were me?"

So here I take this gun in hand  
Or took that final step to land  
Where I should be, finally dead  
"Goodbye cruel world", or as it's said


	3. The Songs Worth Living

I'm choking, drowning, help me up  
Not ready to fill this empty cup  
I haven't lived yet, seen the world  
But now I lay here, worn and curled

I know I've said I'm ready to die  
But that's a complete and utter lie  
It can't end now, before it's begun  
My life's a song not yet been sung

But six feet under's not the place  
To sing the song so filled with grace  
To find that tune, that glorious tune  
But now it's just a rotten prune

Decadence and fading  
Patience and grading   
It hasn't returned yet or it may be dead too  
But I guess no one ever knew

That song of life that keeps you whole  
Lifts you high and saves your soul  
I've found it though, through short years gone by  
My favourite song, till that day I died


	4. When I'm Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a special someone whom isn't in my life anymore...

Can we just take a moment here  
And appreciate our life so dear  
It's hard to know when our time comes  
So don't live your life feeling numb

Though when days of death does do us part  
I won't even know where to start  
If it's you whom died, I'll miss you so  
I wouldn't believe it's your time to go

But if it's me who lays unawake in bed  
The ground as my blanket, the dirt painted red  
Don't remember me by my last few years  
Remember the soul not filled with tears

Do not grieve this life gone by  
All of us have that time to die  
So promise me this- when you're dead and gone  
Don't come and find me, my soul has been thrown


	5. Say No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my friend Leslie for helping me think of a title for this one...

What's the point of living when life's so short to start?  
What's so wrong about the knives that keeps lives from distraught?  
So if I took this gun and turned it to my head  
Would it be okay to me to take this to my bed?

Would I shed a tear or two in my final time?  
Would I be okay to commit this personal crime?  
If knocking on Death's door is how this has to be  
Then I will take that jump or shot and see what wait's for me

A smile spread across my face as I take my final breath  
The pillar that's my life has crumbled at my death  
So listen here my friend when this life gets you down  
Don't make the mistake I made and never, ever drown


	6. Internal Suicide

I sold my soul and it won't let to  
Just in and out and feeling low  
I've found my place down underground  
In Hades' den, that's where I'm bound

The Black Bird calls my heart to stay  
But my mind says this is not the way  
This conflict between the heart and mind  
Is constantly breaking me down inside

Though I know the battle's just begun  
I can't help but feel like it's already won  
Drowning too deep in my soul  
And defeating my mind's purpose goal

As screams fill my body and drive me mad  
I don't feel depressed or even mad  
Despite my mind's thoughts, this is where I belong  
So I embrace the flames and say goodbye to what's gone


	7. Don't Be

Blood and grime and still I stood  
I went the way that no one should  
My life is hanging on a hook  
When all I need's to stop and look

Some days I'm here and others gone  
I close my eyes and wait till dawn  
But still the sound of lonely cries  
Power through my empty lies

So even when your feeling numb  
A way that effects a great, great some  
Keep in heart I feel this too  
Just waiting for God to make me new


	8. Let Me Go

Is there a way to find your place  
When nothing seems to keep your pace?  
Is there a way to feel so high  
When all you want to do is die?

Who would try to keep you sane  
When they're the ones that give you pain?  
What's the point of feeling free  
Without even an ounce of glee?

'Cause here I stand, alone and spent  
Without the knowledge that you sent  
Everything that put me here  
Down in Hell without a tear

I couldn't be more terrified  
To leave you here so mortified  
To see my body, cold and pale  
Hanging, looking completely frail

But still you trued to keep me 'live  
No matter what the price it'd drive  
'Cause despite my pleas, you won't let go  
This life you try to keep in tow

But still I try, again and again  
To destroy myself from this life of sin  
But you need me like I can't believe  
And in my mind, all you do is deceive

So please, my dear, just let me go  
And please, oh please, I need you to know  
That even though I feel this too,  
You love me, but I left you.


	9. Life Meant To Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not proud very proud of this one but here it is anyways...

Through these times I live alone  
Keeping from the life I've known  
The mind won't let me forget the past  
And all I can say is this day is my last

I've been living a lie for all to see  
So I'm not sad to say- as I fall to my knees  
That this is the end of this life for me  
And I'll never wake up, as it always should be


	10. My Final Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind this is NOT based off anything that has actually happened to me... The is ALL just what goes on in my mind... Just thought I'd mention that...

This is the final goodbye I'll say  
For I have decided this is my last day  
So if you need a reason for what is here said  
I'll give you a journey inside my head

The life I deserve is simply as follows  
Sitting alone- room dark and hollow  
No one can see me or know who I am  
Like my life is all one big sham

Though shattered mirrors and bleeding wrists  
Is honestly how I exist  
But all my life is considered a lie  
So now all I can do is die

To the family whom brought me up  
You're the first to consider me corrupt  
The raping, beating, constant abuse  
Brought me to the point where the blade is at use

Though I know I shouldn't, I thank you for that  
Making me feel like I'm just a lonely rat  
"Keep in the dark and stay in your shell  
Or else we'll kick you back down to Hell."

As for friends who took me in their arms  
Helping me mute my need for self harm  
You never did know the reason I'd cut  
So here are the reasons I'm stuck in this rut

That out-of-place feeling I keep hold of inside  
The situation at home put off to the side  
I hate who I've been and all I've become  
Though you may say my life's just begun

And to the person whom it will hurt most to leave  
I beg you to keep my heart on your sleeve  
'Cause from the moment my last breath is took  
You're the way people will look

Open my heart and read the fine print  
Tell those I love that I'm now content  
Tell them my stories of battles and pain  
And I'll keep watch and see what you gain

Someone new and the life you deserve  
Is something that your life will reserve  
For you when you're ready, which better be soon  
'Cause I am now dead, and receiving Hell's doom


	11. Broken Believers

I'll come and I'll go like a sea of red wine  
Appear from the dark, and leave from the shrine  
When it comes to my being, hatred falls free  
Though the days of our suffering only knows how to flee

Reminiscence, I have no such luck  
Nightmares of past be whereat I'm stuck  
Reverberating years that haunts my time  
Penetrates my love, leaves this heart filled with grime

"Come" I shalt scream to ears down below  
"I am the following for those whom ne'er know"  
And follow they did, one by singular one  
The beaten and scarred believing they're none

Though believe they must do, that loved kins of times gone  
Shall return to see them when most dire and lone  
These times of depression must return to just mem'ries  
And keep in the dark the pow'r of their arm'ries


End file.
